Ross Gelbspan of the Boston Globe declared, “The hurricane that struck Louisiana yesterday was nicknamed Katrina….Its real name is global warming.” Al Gore cast Katrina as the opening number in his disaster epic, An Inconvenient Truth, and threatened many terrible sequels, both climatic and cinematic, unless heeded. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. wrote that Biloxi’s destruction by Katrina was cosmic justice since Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour had opposed the Kyoto Protocol. New Orleans was apparently karmic collateral damage.

No explanation was given for the below average Pacific hurricane season that same year. But it was predicted that the 2006 Atlantic season would “be a doozy,” as global warming continued. And it was a doozy – almost average. Strangely, this below average season did not disprove the global warming that had been so positively proven by the previous season.

Apparently, dust blowing in the wind from African deserts cooled the Earth temporarily. Or maybe it was El Niño. But then it is well-known that global warming increases both desertification and El Niño. So perhaps the below average 2006 hurricane season confirms the global warming already proven by the above average 2005 season? To claim so would be within precedent. Take the latest proof of global warming: high winter temperatures in the U.S. Northeast. Regarding this unusual January, ABC’s Bill Blakemore declared: “The warm winter fits the pattern, exactly, that has long been predicted for manmade global warming.”

Yet in a remarkable coincidence, the Northeast’s unusually wintry January of 2005 also fit the pattern, exactly, predicted for global warming. In the same article in which he declared Katrina to be the result of global warming, climatological clairvoyant Gelbspan proclaimed, “At the beginning of 2005, a deadly ice storm knocked out power to thousands of people in New England and dropped a record-setting 42.2 inches of snow on Boston. The conventional name of the month was January. Its real name is global warming.”

How does global warming cause snow? “The warmer the air, the more moisture it can hold, which leads to heavier precipitation of rain or snow,” Bill Blakemore explains. So more or less snow is well within the nefarious scope of global warming. Heads I win, tails you lose.

Blakemore was not explaining 2005 Boston but 2006 Colorado with his statement. In December and January, Colorado was buried by snowstorms, probably caused by global warming. This was a fortunate break for Colorado, which was suffering a multiyear drought, possibly due to global warming, according to Jonathan Overpeck, director of the Institute for the Study of Planet Earth at the University of Arizona. “Temperature alone can drive a major drying-out of the West,” Overpeck told the Denver Post. “One place precipitation likely won’t go up…is southern Colorado,” he predicted.

Just seven weeks after Overpeck’s assessment was published, CNN quoted a southern Colorado rancher as saying, “The magnitude of the snow out here is astounding.” The snow was so deep that about “3,500 cattle are believed to have died on rangeland in six southeastern Colorado counties alone.” Snow that deep must be global warming.

More proof of global warming took place in Europe, where the 2005-06 winter in the Alps was so severe that some resorts closed lifts for fear that skiers might freeze to death, and record snows caused spring flooding. Some speculated that global warming might be altering the Gulf Stream, triggering an Ice Age in Europe. When the winter of 2006-07 brought little snow and record warmth, however, it became obvious that global warming could bring a Tropical Age instead.

When an April 2005 study found Antarctica melting, scientists declared it evidence of global warming. Then a May 2005 study found Antarctica adding ice. This fit the pattern of increased snowfall predicted by global warming. By 2006, though, a new study showed that Antarctic snowfall was totally unchanged, “despite global warming.” This shocking news of stability “could be evidence that the worst is yet to come” however, since it means that without increased snowpack, sea levels could rise faster than previously predicted.

Above average, below average, or just average, global warming’s a triple threat.